Improvements
Feb. 12th, 2011 02:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
giveamouseSo, I'm getting settled in at a friend's place, with over 90% of what I own in storage. I don't want to impose. Feeling like I'm imposing is inevitable, since this friend is the reason I'm not homeless, so I'm just trying to manage that feeling. Though having a PO Box and a storage unit makes me feel homeless anyway.
But things are improving slightly. It seems that wellbutrin is making a notable improvement in my ability to cope at all.
I even managed to work on job applications the other day. If that isn't a notable improvement, I don't know what is.
One of my frustrations for a long time is that I feel there are rather few people I know in person that I'm really want to talk about computer-related stuff with. It's not that I don't know enough computer geeks - I certainly do, but I've grown distant from many of them as I've struggled with my long-term career goals. It feels strange both wanting to discuss technical ideas with other people *and* having a very heavy feeling of obligation that if I talk about it at all, I'm making it harder to put the profession behind me.
Right now, though, I'm looking for programming jobs, because that's what I know and have experience in. It simply pays better than the alternatives, because linguistics has turned out to be an extraordinarily unemployable degree to have unless I can uproot and move to wherever the next job is.
So I've been considering doing a separate blog someplace of (non-personal) technical stuff that I can associate my real name with, because then I can un-bottle all these ideas. Another likely benefit: potential employers will want to see some evidence of clue when they google for me. I'm still hoping that by using a pseudonym, I can become more comfortable expressing myself online -- owning things as mine in any case, but with a separation between my public face and that where I can speak more freely.
But things are improving slightly. It seems that wellbutrin is making a notable improvement in my ability to cope at all.
I even managed to work on job applications the other day. If that isn't a notable improvement, I don't know what is.
One of my frustrations for a long time is that I feel there are rather few people I know in person that I'm really want to talk about computer-related stuff with. It's not that I don't know enough computer geeks - I certainly do, but I've grown distant from many of them as I've struggled with my long-term career goals. It feels strange both wanting to discuss technical ideas with other people *and* having a very heavy feeling of obligation that if I talk about it at all, I'm making it harder to put the profession behind me.
Right now, though, I'm looking for programming jobs, because that's what I know and have experience in. It simply pays better than the alternatives, because linguistics has turned out to be an extraordinarily unemployable degree to have unless I can uproot and move to wherever the next job is.
So I've been considering doing a separate blog someplace of (non-personal) technical stuff that I can associate my real name with, because then I can un-bottle all these ideas. Another likely benefit: potential employers will want to see some evidence of clue when they google for me. I'm still hoping that by using a pseudonym, I can become more comfortable expressing myself online -- owning things as mine in any case, but with a separation between my public face and that where I can speak more freely.
