Moving, moving on
Jan. 25th, 2011 08:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
giveamouseI pack for a few hours, and then I cry for a few hours. That's the way things are right now.
Going through my things, I'm finding a lot of stuff I don't care about. Lots of nonfiction I have little real use for, but appealed to my inner data packrat. Papers from college, lots of computer books I'm scared to open for fear that it will make it easier for me to continue the status quo. Most of the fiction I own, I don't see why I'm keeping. Most of it really isn't that good, most of it I've had since before college, before I developed the skill of knowing what's worth buying. I haven't listened to anything in my CD collection in years. It's not a matter of age - it's jazz, which I still like. It's that I really haven't listened to music at all in years.
My digital piano is very dusty, and it will have to go live with my dad for a while. I haven't really played in years, either.
I don't like who I've become. She doesn't either. She needs me to get a hold on my depression and anxiety, to get a job and keep it for long enough to show that I'm worth being around. She still loves me, but her life needs to move forward, with or without me.
Most of my life is going in storage this weekend, so the next few days will involve a lot more packing, and a lot more crying.
Going through my things, I'm finding a lot of stuff I don't care about. Lots of nonfiction I have little real use for, but appealed to my inner data packrat. Papers from college, lots of computer books I'm scared to open for fear that it will make it easier for me to continue the status quo. Most of the fiction I own, I don't see why I'm keeping. Most of it really isn't that good, most of it I've had since before college, before I developed the skill of knowing what's worth buying. I haven't listened to anything in my CD collection in years. It's not a matter of age - it's jazz, which I still like. It's that I really haven't listened to music at all in years.
My digital piano is very dusty, and it will have to go live with my dad for a while. I haven't really played in years, either.
I don't like who I've become. She doesn't either. She needs me to get a hold on my depression and anxiety, to get a job and keep it for long enough to show that I'm worth being around. She still loves me, but her life needs to move forward, with or without me.
Most of my life is going in storage this weekend, so the next few days will involve a lot more packing, and a lot more crying.
